Last weekend was great! Visited D and we had a blast. Was looking forward to a quick week at work, but it dragged. Thought I was finally sleeping better and then could not turn the brain off last night. Here's what's still on my mind... how could he seriously do that to me? I yelled at a student to come back to the homework center because he forgot to sign out. Does it really matter if they forget to record the time they left? No. But the kid's name happens to be Juan - so did it feel good screaming Juan! Yes. There is anger inside. I do not wish it but it is there. Not contacting him to tell him what a huge mistake he made - I already made that clear. Things work out for the best so I am lucky to have learned that he was not strong enough to be my man before I said I do.
Now - dealing with the anger inside and the desire to have more time between us. I never wish time away, just want more distance from him. Ready to move into the next phase of my life. Doing it, one day at a time.
Still smiling, still laughing, still Shannon : )
Just want my sunshine and lollipops back! and its bugging me because I deserve that and want to feel that way again. I know, in time, but that's why I'm bugging, because I know it will come in time and its not time yet, I don't wish time to fast forward because we only have such a short time on this earth as it is , just impatient! learning the virtue of patience, the silliness of over planning, and the need to have total control. All the while smiling, laughing, and enjoying the gift of the present. Yes it is true - you can have hate and stay positive!
1 comment:
I want to comment for myself - what a difference a month makes. I am just that much better already :)
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